Disheartened

After 抱き絞めたい Side 要
心細い

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.
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"Kaname-kun."

Snapped out of my own thoughts, I looked up and immediately saw a hand waved right in front of my eyes. The hand which belonged to my supervisor.

"Hina-chan. What is it?"

She looked miffed as she retracted her hand and instead put it on her hip. "I was wondering if you have finished correcting the files that I asked you to check this morning, and here I found you zoning out..."

"Ah, sorry. Not yet. I'm almost done, though."

"I'm not asking you to rush it, but, if you still feel a bit unwell, you can tell me."

 I looked at her again. Hina-chan no longer seemed annoyed, but instead concerned. I tried to smile gently as I speak reassuringly. "I'm fine, Hina-chan. No need to put on that kind of face."

It did nothing to change her facial expression. She knew, after all, that I often lied with smiles, through Kaasan's stories. I sighed and looked away from her, focusing on my work again as I told her the truth.

"It's not that I'm unwell or anything... I'm just thinking of Iori."

"Missed him?" I heard her giggling softly. "You'll be done for the day in a few hours, though. Be patient."

"Yes, it would be nice if once I'm done with work and return home, I can go straight up to him and gets all clingy to restore my energy."

"But?"

I didn't answer as I decided to finish checking the files. She seemed to understand and waited patiently beside me, watching me doing last check before saving and closing the document, then met my eyes as I turned to face her and began telling her what truly happened to me a few days ago.

The official excuse of me not coming to work a few days ago was that I got too exhausted and collapsed after returning home. But the truth was that I was nearly murdered by my own younger brother. My lover. Iori. His dark side took over again and made him strangle me.

You will be with me. Forever.

And after that Kyou-nii came to the conclusion that I should be separated from Iori for awhile, thinking that it would help us arranging our thoughts. For I admit that I was losing my sanity too, back there, for surrendering and letting Iori had his way with me. So while I am to stay in the apartment, while Iori stayed over at one of his friends' house.

"I see." Hina-chan tilted her head slightly after I ended my explanation. "So you were wondering what would you do once you're allowed to meet Iori-kun again?"

"No. I've done thinking about that when I was bedridden. It's the other problem that I was mulling over."

"The other problem?"

"The fact that Iori is staying over at the house of his friend. They seems to be close enough that Iori allowed him to touch his head, something that supposed to be my, and mine alone, privilege. I can't help but feeling anxious, Hina-chan."

She was silent for a moment before her shoulders began to shake and she burst into laughter. Thankfully, the two of us were in the staff office, in the inner part of the store, so no costumers would be able to hear her.

"Hina-chan, I'm seriously feeling troubled here," I chided her, but smiled anyway.

At least she no longer seemed so apprehensive.

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